Your book has a massive amount of overlap in themes with the humor memoir Iām writing right now. I look forward to reading yours and I hope ro connect with you in the future. Congratulations on your success.
I would love that and would love to know more about your book and your journey. Please stay in touch ā it makes such a difference to have the support of others who get it and are rooting for you!
I really like the way you connect assertiveness to vulnerability! Standing up for yourself can definitely feel like āputting yourself out there.ā I hope your book inspires many people to live more authentically in and out of their relationships!
Iām looking forward to reading it. I grew up in family with lots of arguing, emotional abuse, and lack of boundaries . Silence was survival. So many life choices are impacted by fear.
Maybe before I turn 70 I can learn how to be more authentic and open. Thank you.
Silence is survival in those situations, youāre absolutely right. There does have to be a certain baseline of safety in a relationship to do this but when it isnāt ever safe in our younger years it becomes difficult to do this with anyone, even when it IS safe. I know without a doubt you can become more authentic and open now and that it will enrich your life in ways that may be hard to imagine. I think youāre going to get so much out of this book that applies to all relationships. Thank you for sharing this with me šš»
I've got tears in my eyes because your words hit my heart. So many words inside me but I can't ever seem to get them to come out right without feeling like I'll break everything around me, yet knowing I'm also breaking myself and the struggle is tearing me up. I will be ordering your book and I've already subscribed here. Thank you. š
So many people feel this exact way -- I need to say how I feel but won't go well and the cost feels enormous either way. I think you're going to love The Cost of Quiet because I give a road map to how we can both honor ourselves and strengthen our relationships when we speak up.
I really appreciate how you braid the need for assertiveness with vulnerability. I can be vulnerable but itās the assertiveness that feels harder to pull out.
Also - the staying connected to your wise, loving adult self really landed. There is so much āworkā out there suggesting that connecting to our younger parts /younger self will grow us and while I have benefited from that after habitually self abandoning, she was never assertive.
I really love the word braid here for the art of weaving assertiveness and vulnerability together. You speak to the challenge most of us have which is that we favor one and struggle with other. I think the more we're connected and compassionate toward ourselves, especially our younger selves, the more we can speak on behalf of our tender needs from a place of strength, openness and clarity.
When we donāt know how to navigate conflict constructively, it feels like a threat to our most important attachment bonds. š Very true, because these are skills that were not taught in schools.
And ppl process differently too. Some people like my mother in law is able to move on so quick without collapsing into low self worth. I suspect since she doesnāt know how to handle conflicts (her husband was pretty stubborn anyways, wonāt listen to what she says) it is much easier to just avoid it ignore it and not bring things up and just let others be.
I must say tho, because sheās one of those lucky ones who can always keep a positive and realistic attitude, sheās able to detach herself and not focused on fixing/changing her husband. She learnt to let go a lot of things which helped her move on.
She focused on her kids and looked for other sources of happiness else where rather than getting stuck in arguing/debating w the husband. Which I must say save her a lot of unnecessary sufferings.
Your book has a massive amount of overlap in themes with the humor memoir Iām writing right now. I look forward to reading yours and I hope ro connect with you in the future. Congratulations on your success.
I would love that and would love to know more about your book and your journey. Please stay in touch ā it makes such a difference to have the support of others who get it and are rooting for you!
I really like the way you connect assertiveness to vulnerability! Standing up for yourself can definitely feel like āputting yourself out there.ā I hope your book inspires many people to live more authentically in and out of their relationships!
Yes its the key! And that is my EXACT hope for this book!
I just ordered your book. Very excited to learn some skills.
Thank you so much Caroline! Pease let me know what you think!
I have already pre ordered your book and look forward to reading it.
Thanks so much Helen! I canāt wait to hear what you think!
Iām looking forward to reading it. I grew up in family with lots of arguing, emotional abuse, and lack of boundaries . Silence was survival. So many life choices are impacted by fear.
Maybe before I turn 70 I can learn how to be more authentic and open. Thank you.
Silence is survival in those situations, youāre absolutely right. There does have to be a certain baseline of safety in a relationship to do this but when it isnāt ever safe in our younger years it becomes difficult to do this with anyone, even when it IS safe. I know without a doubt you can become more authentic and open now and that it will enrich your life in ways that may be hard to imagine. I think youāre going to get so much out of this book that applies to all relationships. Thank you for sharing this with me šš»
I've got tears in my eyes because your words hit my heart. So many words inside me but I can't ever seem to get them to come out right without feeling like I'll break everything around me, yet knowing I'm also breaking myself and the struggle is tearing me up. I will be ordering your book and I've already subscribed here. Thank you. š
So many people feel this exact way -- I need to say how I feel but won't go well and the cost feels enormous either way. I think you're going to love The Cost of Quiet because I give a road map to how we can both honor ourselves and strengthen our relationships when we speak up.
my friend needs this book -where can i buy it?
www.thecostofquiet.com and also everywhere books are sold. Pub date is tomorrow but it can be pre-ordered now -- thank you for sharing!
I really appreciate how you braid the need for assertiveness with vulnerability. I can be vulnerable but itās the assertiveness that feels harder to pull out.
Also - the staying connected to your wise, loving adult self really landed. There is so much āworkā out there suggesting that connecting to our younger parts /younger self will grow us and while I have benefited from that after habitually self abandoning, she was never assertive.
I really love the word braid here for the art of weaving assertiveness and vulnerability together. You speak to the challenge most of us have which is that we favor one and struggle with other. I think the more we're connected and compassionate toward ourselves, especially our younger selves, the more we can speak on behalf of our tender needs from a place of strength, openness and clarity.
When we donāt know how to navigate conflict constructively, it feels like a threat to our most important attachment bonds. š Very true, because these are skills that were not taught in schools.
And ppl process differently too. Some people like my mother in law is able to move on so quick without collapsing into low self worth. I suspect since she doesnāt know how to handle conflicts (her husband was pretty stubborn anyways, wonāt listen to what she says) it is much easier to just avoid it ignore it and not bring things up and just let others be.
I must say tho, because sheās one of those lucky ones who can always keep a positive and realistic attitude, sheās able to detach herself and not focused on fixing/changing her husband. She learnt to let go a lot of things which helped her move on.
She focused on her kids and looked for other sources of happiness else where rather than getting stuck in arguing/debating w the husband. Which I must say save her a lot of unnecessary sufferings.